Utah State Legislature - Week 1

Image credit: Freeimages.com/Ryan Day

It would be cool if as legislative intern, I could fill my blog with my opinions on the issues based on my more-or-less insider information, but I can’t. As an intern, I work for the Office of Legislative Research and General Counsel, which is a nonpartisan organization that assists Utah state legislators in writing laws. So basically, as long as I’m an intern, I have no political opinion—all I do is support my assigned legislator.

However, that doesn’t mean that my blog has to be boring while I’m working on the Hill. (Not that it’s ever exciting because I rarely post.) Let me share a couple thoughts after my first week or so.

First, I’ve been very impressed with the legislators up here. From what I’ve seen, they care a lot about serving the people of Utah. They truly are public servants. Here’s a quote from our textbook, Utah Politics Under the Dome: Representation and the Utah Legislature by Adam R. Brown:

Lack of Ambition

Image credit: Gavin Mills

Recently, I read the book Catch a Falling Star by Kim Culbertson. It was enjoyable, and the part that struck a chord with me was one of the conflicts that the main character Carter faces. She used to be a dancer, and we find out later in the book that the reason she stopped is because it stopped being fun for her.She felt so much pressure from others to excel, to accept a scholarship to a premier dancing school, and to seek a career as a dancer. After hearing about how competitive, rigorous, and stressful a professional dancer's life is, Carter decided that it wasn't for her and quit dancing altogether.

I can empathize with her. It seems like from the womb, there's so much pressure from home and school to "succeed," "reach for the stars," "get ahead," etc. What does success really mean? Is it the same for everyone? Why should we reach for the stars? What's wrong with the good ol' Earth? Who are we trying to get ahead of? Does this stuff really matter?

Artistic Integrity

Image credit: Peter Mazurek

It's weird for me to write two blog posts in one day since I usually post seldom and sporadically, but receiving constructive criticism for The Newfangled World has got me thinking about the struggles artists have between being true to themselves and making a living. That sounds really cheesy to me, but let me explain what I'm talking about. The main reason I submitted my story to Leading Edge wasn't to get published, although that would've been great, of course. The main reason was because I'm not satisfied with the story, and I was hoping they could help me make it better. Oddly, even though it was intimidating for me to write the story in the first place, it's much, much more intimidating to me to figure out how to go back and make it better. Unfortunately, the criticism I received doesn't seem very helpful. Maybe I'm just too connected to more story, maybe it's too personal, but their suggestions seemed, for the most part, kind of out there. I'll have to read it over again, but the characterization of Malcolm Lee as an egoist seems so weird to me. The main criticism I understand is the scene with Malcolm's family. I'm very torn about that scene because it does seem out of place and break up the story, but overall, I feel like it's important to have a scene to establish Malcolm's love for his family. So I may end up changing it, but I do want to keep a scene with his family.

One of the big problems I run into is that I care more about how I feel about my creations than I care about how other people feel about them. Yeah, it's great when other people seem to like them, and I love that, but whether or not I like what I make is more important to me. That's a bad attitude for anyone who wants to share what they create.

The Real Me

Image credit: Margan Zajdowicz

"For intelligence cleaveth unto intelligence; wisdom recieveth wisdom; truth embraceth truth; virtue loveth virtue; light cleaveth unto light . . ." - D&C 88:40.

I'm pretty sure I've only ever heard this scripture used in relationship to courtship and dating. The old adage that opposites attract is usually inaccurate. Most romantic couples have similar interests, socioeconomic status, race, ethnicity, education, religious views, political views, etc. I remember young men's leaders and seminary teachers interpreting this scripture as saying become who you want to marry.

When I develop romantic feelings for a woman, I become totally smitten. I begin to think she's totally amazing. It makes it hard because I feel like she's out of my league, and then I start to wonder about that scripture. Surely, if I'm so attracted to that woman, surely I have some of the same attributes as she does. But then I wonder, am I attracted to her because of the man I am or the man I want to be?

Kinship and Disappointment

Image credit: N.A.

Alex Davis died yesterday. It feels surreal. This is the first time that someone I felt close to has died. Yes, my dad died when I was 6, but I barely remember him. I remember Alex. I remember mowing lawns with him, jamming with him and my bros., and I remember how much fun we had. I also remember that even though he was a fun and happy guy, he had his share of heartaches and disappointments. I remember how he loved football, but suffered an injury that didn't allow him to play anymore. I remember that he loved a girl that he thought he could never be with. Those are tough things for anyone to deal with, and I remember that it was hard to remember that he was just a teenager because he seemed so mature for his age. He might be surprised to hear me say that.

Thinking about what I know about Alex's life, it made me look back on my life and the disappointments I faced. Growing up, my two biggest goals in life were to get married and go on a mission. Then I didn't get a chance to date the girl of my dreams who I was sure I was going to marry, and I didn't go on a mission because of problems I have with the Gospel and because I'm scared. It's been over a year since I've had a goal I've been working toward or wanted to work toward. I'm going to school, yes, but I constantly have doubts about the major I picked. As silly as this sounds, sometimes, after I read a great book or watch a great movie or TV episode, I feel like I was made to tell stories. Like my calling in life is to write stories that entertain and/or inspire people. But sometimes I look at all the books, movies, and TV shows that have been written, and I wonder if I could possibly add to it.

Rejection

Image credit: Sigurd Decroos

One of the things I love about preschoolers is how real they are. They've only been on this earth for a few years, and most of their time here has likely been spent in a loving home with a loving family. They haven't had enough time to experience a lot of rejection. Because they haven't been rejected much, they don't have many of the social barriers that humans naturally develop as they age. They commit faux pas such as picking their nose, passing gas, or crying in public without a second thought or any feeling of abashment. Preschoolers will very easily let you know if they're upset or let you know if they love you, things that become harder and harder as life goes on.

As we grow and experience more, we learn to put barriers around ourselves. We learn to hide parts of ourselves. At school, work, home, play, everywhere, we're constantly bombarded with subtle and not-so-subtle messages that we're not good enough, smart enough, good-looking enough, etc. Some friendships that we think will last forever fall apart. People are human, life happens, and the sum of our experiences teaches us that we need to be careful with who we trust and careful with who we give our heart to.

Manipulate Me, Please

Image credit: Buzzemand

Last semester, my English professor assigned us students to critically analyze a print advertisement. As part of his introduction to the assignment, he explained that he wanted us to learn to hate ads. We spent a few class periods discussing the evils of advertising and how advertisers are maliciously manipulating the consumers' subconscious minds. Now I must confess that at this point in the semester, I wasn't too happy with my professor. He hadn't returned my first paper as timely as I would have liked, and he hadn't given me the grade I felt I deserved. (I should point out that I kinda like him now because I got an A in his class. Cha-CHING!) So the more he talked about how bad advertising is, the more I began to think, "Wow. I actually really like advertisements!"

Unfortunately, my positive view towards advertising led me to make a fatal mistake in my ad analysis paper: in my conclusion, I specifically stated that I enjoyed the advertisement that I analyzed. Gasp. When I got the paper back from my professor, he expressed his own views on the ad and said, "Seen in this light, the ad gets a little less funny . . ." This paper received a worse grade than my first one. I was not very pleased, especially since I felt like his grade was based on the fact that my opinions differed from his.

Don’t Hate Me

Image credit: Arleynd Soca

My 11-year-old neighbor once said something that has stuck with me: “I know you, Craig. You hate to have people not like you.”

The more I’ve thought about it, the more I realize that she’s totally right. I do hate to have people not like me. Like, seriously, it really bugs me. I mean, I’d like to think that I’m a reasonably likeable person. I’m a little quiet (a little too quiet), I try not to be rude or sarcastic (well, not overly sarcastic), and I’m pretty funny. (Did you hear the one about the—oh, wait, never mind.) So when people don’t like me, I get a little irritated. And sometimes, I go out of my way to get them to like me. Which, as far as I can tell, has never been successful.

Take for instance my 11-year-old neighbor. I feel like I’m pretty good friends with the whole family. I feel like the girls are the little sisters that I never had, and the boys, well, kind of remind me of my own brothers. But despite the fact that I’ve hung out at their house fairly frequently over the past couple of years, the 11-year-old still gives me a coolness rating of 50%—a failing grade.