The Real Me

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"For intelligence cleaveth unto intelligence; wisdom recieveth wisdom; truth embraceth truth; virtue loveth virtue; light cleaveth unto light . . ." - D&C 88:40.

I'm pretty sure I've only ever heard this scripture used in relationship to courtship and dating. The old adage that opposites attract is usually inaccurate. Most romantic couples have similar interests, socioeconomic status, race, ethnicity, education, religious views, political views, etc. I remember young men's leaders and seminary teachers interpreting this scripture as saying become who you want to marry.

When I develop romantic feelings for a woman, I become totally smitten. I begin to think she's totally amazing. It makes it hard because I feel like she's out of my league, and then I start to wonder about that scripture. Surely, if I'm so attracted to that woman, surely I have some of the same attributes as she does. But then I wonder, am I attracted to her because of the man I am or the man I want to be?

Kinship and Disappointment

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Alex Davis died yesterday. It feels surreal. This is the first time that someone I felt close to has died. Yes, my dad died when I was 6, but I barely remember him. I remember Alex. I remember mowing lawns with him, jamming with him and my bros., and I remember how much fun we had. I also remember that even though he was a fun and happy guy, he had his share of heartaches and disappointments. I remember how he loved football, but suffered an injury that didn't allow him to play anymore. I remember that he loved a girl that he thought he could never be with. Those are tough things for anyone to deal with, and I remember that it was hard to remember that he was just a teenager because he seemed so mature for his age. He might be surprised to hear me say that.

Thinking about what I know about Alex's life, it made me look back on my life and the disappointments I faced. Growing up, my two biggest goals in life were to get married and go on a mission. Then I didn't get a chance to date the girl of my dreams who I was sure I was going to marry, and I didn't go on a mission because of problems I have with the Gospel and because I'm scared. It's been over a year since I've had a goal I've been working toward or wanted to work toward. I'm going to school, yes, but I constantly have doubts about the major I picked. As silly as this sounds, sometimes, after I read a great book or watch a great movie or TV episode, I feel like I was made to tell stories. Like my calling in life is to write stories that entertain and/or inspire people. But sometimes I look at all the books, movies, and TV shows that have been written, and I wonder if I could possibly add to it.

Uncommon Sense

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Whenever I hear about common sense, I like to joke that credit cards are replacing common cents. Har, har. But seriously, I don't believe in common sense anymore for two reasons: one of my roommates, and, of course, preschoolers (since I mention them in many of my posts).

First, my roommate. He defies logic. To me, it's common sense to wash your dishes in a reasonable time frame. By reasonable time frame, the same day as you use dishes would be ideal, but life gets in the way, so I think three or fours days is a reasonable time period. Leaving dishes out for weeks on end is something I would deem unreasonable, especially since we have a dishwasher. To me, it's common sense to not turn the living room into a hydroponics garden. (As a side note, he's growing Venus flytraps to eat the bugs that are possibly spawning because of the dirty dishes he leaves out. Oh, I love irony.) To me, it's common sense to listen to music at a moderate volume and not blasting out of the speakers so the whole apartment can hear it, whether they want to or not (most cases, not).

Offense Taken

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Our society has gotten to the point where people who get offended are looked down upon. Now, there are some cases in which offended people bug me. For instance, I have a hard time believing atheists are actually offended by the Pledge of Allegiance containing the phrase "under God," and I'm annoyed when people overreact to offensive things. Overall, though, I think that our society would be better if people were offended more. To clarify, I'm not saying that I want people to go around complaining constantly about all the offensive things to be found in our culture. In most cases, avoidance is the best and easiest solution. However, I really think that our society's values and morals are degrading, and it's definitely causing problems.

Take me, for example. I have seen way too much sex and violence in movies, TV shows, video games, the Internet, books, and the media in general. After experiencing all of that, I've become desensitized to sex and violence, and that bothers me. What's more, it's hard to convince myself to try to re-sensitize myself, if that's even possible, because I enjoy things that have sex and violence. For example, one of my favorite TV shows is The Office. The awkward humor in that show makes me laugh my head off, and between the character's interactions and the Jim and Pam love story, The Office means a lot to me. Those of you who have seen the show know that it has a lot of sexual humor. The sexual humor bothers me, but it doesn't bother me enough to get me to stop watching the show, and that's a problem.

Rejection

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One of the things I love about preschoolers is how real they are. They've only been on this earth for a few years, and most of their time here has likely been spent in a loving home with a loving family. They haven't had enough time to experience a lot of rejection. Because they haven't been rejected much, they don't have many of the social barriers that humans naturally develop as they age. They commit faux pas such as picking their nose, passing gas, or crying in public without a second thought or any feeling of abashment. Preschoolers will very easily let you know if they're upset or let you know if they love you, things that become harder and harder as life goes on.

As we grow and experience more, we learn to put barriers around ourselves. We learn to hide parts of ourselves. At school, work, home, play, everywhere, we're constantly bombarded with subtle and not-so-subtle messages that we're not good enough, smart enough, good-looking enough, etc. Some friendships that we think will last forever fall apart. People are human, life happens, and the sum of our experiences teaches us that we need to be careful with who we trust and careful with who we give our heart to.

Help, Please!

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Christmas is coming. I must confess that although I used to love Christmas, I'm not a huge fan of it anymore. I concur with the Charlie Brown and Stan Freberg school of thought that the holiday has become too commercial. The true meaning of Christmas, celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ, gets a bit lost with all the decorations, Santa, and presents. Plus, in an ideal world, I would prefer it if we could give each other presents as surprises out of love or because of accomplishments rather than a couple of set times each year. However, I also understand that having a set time like Christmas is useful because it might be easy to forget to give loved ones presents otherwise.

Anyway, odds are that this time of year, you're going to hear someone say, "It's better to give than receive." It's one of those phrases that everyone says but not everyone necessarily believes. I mean, let's face, it's pretty awesome when you get a gift that someone obviously put a lot of time and thought into. A gift that tells you that the giver really loves you a lot. In that case, is it really better to give than receive?

Better than Real?

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Nowadays, children or their parents can pay extra money to have photographers digitally remove blemishes from their school photos. That's disgusting. Let me elaborate. Ever since high school, I've had a fair amount of zits on my face. On picture day of my senior year, I had the good fortune of having an enormous pimple on my nose. I could've paid more (or more likely, asked my mom to pay more, lol) to have it removed, but I didn't consider it seriously. I mean, the main reason for school photos and most other photos is to preserve memories, right? Why would I want to preserve a memory that isn't real? I had a zit that day, it's on the picture, and to this day, you can see that picture in all of its 8" x 10" pimply glory in my mom's dining room. That is a real memory. Unfortunately, we live in a society that seems to favor "fakeality" over reality.

I've already mentioned how digitally altered photos preserve fake memories, but there's something else I want to discuss with regards to photographs - the myth of the perfect body. Newsflash: in case the word "myth" didn't clue you in, there is no such thing as a perfect body. Every culture and time period has a different definition of beauty. To me, I can only find one thing in common with the various definitions: achieving beauty is painful, time-consuming, and dangerous. Today, individuals with a certain body type are photographed and celebrated as being incredibly beautiful, making the majority of people without that body type feel ugly. Further adding to this disgusting practice is the fact that models are also digitally "enhanced." Modern women suffer from body image issues and eating disorders. Some modern men have body image issues, but I'd have to say that they're biggest problem along these lines is porn addiction. They become addicted to looking at fake women. Who benefits from perpetuating the myth of the perfect body? Well, take a look at this video from a famous doctor of cultural commentary. So, yeah, in today's society, diet and exercise fad salesmen benefit.